Good Influence: Teaching the Wisdom of Adulthood Review

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Good Influence: Teaching the Wisdom of Adulthood ReviewI was invited to read by the early development director of a prestigious private school in our city, and I was expecting that it would be a typical parenting book with typical advice: pay attention to what your kids say, don't let them run over you, make them understand the value of money and that actions have consequences. I consider myself a fine parent, and had always tried to do those things. But this book was completely different from what I expected.
The basis for this book is that children need the adults in thier lives to be adults, and that not enough of them are. They don't need big kids, grown-up friends, or advocates. They don't need parents and teachers who strive to be youthful and cool, or to live their lives through those of their children. They need people who are different from them who can show them how to be successful adults. They need people who will listen to them, and respond with measured reason and maturity. They need people who will slow them down when they are moving too fast, and who will show them how to solve problems on their own, instead of solving their problems for them.
A lot of is counterintuative. But Heischman speaks from a position of authority, having spent his life in education. Although he is an Episcopal priest, this is not a religious book by any stretch. If any criticism can be bestowed, it is that the book reads like an academic paper rather than an easily-flowing narrative. And it harps on its central point a bit heavily.
Still, this short book packs a lot into 150 pages. After reading it, I was able to list ten changes that I need to make in my own parenting style in order to give my kids the tools to become successful adults, and not merely to remain the happiest possible children. There is a big difference between the two, and Heischman shows how to achieve the first without harming the second.Good Influence: Teaching the Wisdom of Adulthood Overview

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